I've never been one to worry too much about scars. I think of them like tattoos - they tell interesting stories. If I go through with the reduction there will be extensive scarring. The most common procedure leaves the Anchor Scar. A surgeon cuts around the areola and removes the nipple. An incision is then made underneth the breast where the breast meets the chest. It's almost like a smile is cut into the tissue. From the hole where the nipple used to be, two incisions are made down to the "smile" creating a keyhole effect. Skin and breast tissue are removed and then nipple is repositioned higher on the breast. The two vertical incisions are sewn together and the "smile" is stitched back up. The resulting scar looks like an anchor and goes around the new (often smaller) areola, straight down to the "smile" and then all along the "smile."
It freaks me out a little. There are a few other techniques that produce a little less scarring but I don't know what procedure will be best for me. I also am not sure what my insurance company will require.
The general guideline for some insurance companies is to simply remove 500 cc's from each breast. Other insurance companies use the Schnur Sliding Scale. With the Schnur Scale, you have to calculate your Body Surface Area (BSA) and then it's determined how many cc's need to be removed from each breast from the Schnur Sliding Scale. If you want to find out how much breast tissue you're eligible to have removed, just click on the links above.
I've been playing with the BSA calculator, adding or subtracting an inch from my height (a shorter person gets a lower BSA) and playing with the difference of 5, 10, and 20 pounds. Right now I have a BSA of 1.94. According to the Schnur Scale, that means the insurance company would require 575 cc's removed from each breast. If I lost 20 pounds, my BSA would be 1.82 and the minimum amount of tissue removed from each breast must total approximently 460cc's.
To give you an idea of what all this means, a cup size is 150-200cc's. The cc to cup size ratio varies between women because some women have dense breasts while others have fatty breasts. I have no idea if I have fatty or dense breasts. Because fat weighs less than dense material, and cc's are a weight not a volume measurement, if I have fatty breasts, they will end up very, very teeny.
So if my insurance company uses the Schnur Sliding Scale, and using my current BSA, I could be required to have a minimum of 575 cc's removed from each breast. This could mean going from a 34F to a 34D -or- from a 34F to a 34B. This would give me my 7th grade boobs. I'm not in 7th grade. Don't get me wrong, I want smaller tits but I don't think I could handle B cup especially not after having so much cleavage for so long.
I have two main fears with a breast reduction surgery: ending up with a teeny B cup and not being at all proportionate; and there's this awful (to me) scar hazard called "dog ears." From what I understand, a dog ear is where the "smile" scar digs into to your flesh under your arm pit and pinches out a flap of skin. I can handle smooth scars but they have to be smooth. I could not handle a fucking flap of skin under my arm pit.
I have a few other reservations as well. Going into surgery itself is a little scary. There's always a risk of death. It's not like I'd be having a cancerous tumor removed; this isn't a life saving surgery. The recovery is rough. You cannot wash your own hair for two weeks because you aren't supposed to lift lift your arms above your head for fear of splitting a stitch. I have two little children. How could I not pick them up? I'm also wary of contracting MRSA or the much more terrifying VRSA. I don't want to end up dead because of my horribly inconvenient breasts.
Then again, it would be awesome not to have to modify yoga positions because I can't put my chest on my knee. Or it would be rad to sit up straight for extended amounts of time without back pain. It would be awesome to go into Target and buy a super cute $16 bra instead of being fitted at Macy's or Nordstrom's for a fucking ugly ass piece of beige fabric that still doesn't fit me quite right. It would be amazing to run with my kids in the park without clutching my flopping tits. I would love to know if my shoulder grooves would actually go away. It would be awesome to not have to put deodorant under my boobs during the summer to ward off the embarrassment of breaking out under these enormous hunks of flesh. It would be fun to go clothes shopping and try on clothes in styles that have been off limits because of my stupid ridiculous bra size.
Last night I asked my very supportive husband if I'm ready to have this surgery. He said, "If you have to ask, then you're probably not ready." I just don't know. I want it so badly but I have valid fears. Only eight more days until I meet with the first surgeon.
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