You mean to say J/K is a cup size? You're not just joking?

And I'm back. Yup, been a few years now. I had to shelve the reduction process after getting two separate insurance rejections several years ago. I could have pushed it and done physical therapy and what not to make my case stronger but I don't think I was ready. I knew there was a chance we'd have another baby and... we did! I certainly did not want to go through all that pain and trouble just to have the surgeon's work "ruined" by another pregnancy. Sort of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? So here I stand: another consultation under my belt (er, top?). My surgery will be the first available Thursday in April 2016. My breasts are currently a 34i. Yes, as in eye, the letter after H and before J. In fact, these boobies climbed all the way up to a 36K while pregnant and nursing. Who the fuck is a size J/K? I wish it stood for Just Joking. Alas, no, it was my "chesticles." The baby is currently 16 months old and I stopped nursing him when he was 7 months. That was an interesting experience, breastfeeding the last baby. I hated it but felt so guilty about quitting and wanting to give formula. I published my experience on the blog Fearless Formula Feeders which can be read here: http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/2015/03/fff-friday-the-goal-im-working-on/ Now that my breasts have "settled" after pregnancy and nursing, and the baby weight has FINALLY come off after a lot of hard work, I can focus on myself again. I've been having serious neck pain for months now and constant low level headaches. I went to my Primary Care Physician for the headaches and for a dermatologist referral (damn aging process!) and happened to ask about my breasts, if I could do anything. She quickly wrote out a referral to Dr. Donnis Hobson, plastic surgeon. When I called the plastic surgeon, I got an immediate appointment. Immediate. Like, within 5 days of my phone call. I think the receptionist even offered my a spot that afternoon if I could squeeze it in. It was crazy! (Meanwhile the dermatologist wouldn't see me for two and half MONTHS!) Unfortunately, I had to move that first appointment to January due to a personal scheduling conflict but it was easy-peezy. Last Friday, January 15, I went in. The surgeon is a breast specialist. She works almost exclusively on boobies. Lots of cancer patients see her for reconstruction and she's done gobs of reductions. Dr. Hobson doesn't foresee any issue with insurance covering the procedure seeing as how I've done chiropractic and acupuncture before to deal with the pain issues. She inquired about where the pain is located: at various times it's been the lower back, sometimes right where the bra clasps, but lately it's been the shoulders and neck. The pain starts at the bottom of the neck and extends down into my upper back and across my shoulders. She then asked if I suffered any headaches. It was like a light bulb went off - ever since the pain in the shoulders began, that's when the headaches began. These headaches are constant. Drugs - Advil, Tylenol, and Aleve - they don't take away the pain. It might deaden it a bit but it always comes back. It's not related to dehydration or caffeine and the pain just settles right above my ears and sometimes extends down my neck, connecting to the pain in the tops of my shoulders. My Primary said because the pain is 1) light 2) equal around the head, there's not much she can do. She suggested stress headaches and while sure, having three kids is stressful, I don't think they're the reason why I wake up with a headache after having not consumed any alcohol the night before! The surgeon wants to take me down to a C cup. A C cup! I haven't been a C cup since 8th grade. I was thinking more like a D because whoa - the change is going to be drastic. I am quite curvaceous and I rock the hourglass voluptuous figure but a C cup? Is that too small? Will it work with my frame? The doctor said that of the patients where she "only" goes down to a D they often wish they'd gone smaller. My mother votes for smaller because she says I'll gain weight during menopause and my boobs will grow again (as has happened with herself and all of her sisters). But now, it's happening! Surgery date is set. Whee!

You mean, we're on? It's happening?!?! I'm getting new boobs???

Well, I started this journey many, many years ago and now - it's happening!!! Surgery is scheduled for March 7, 2016. In December I went to my primary care doctor for a litany of concerns, one of which was my boobies. She referred me to a plastic surgeon who specializes in breasts, mostly reconstruction for cancer patients and she does a lot of reductions. I last last few years, we moved to the Bay Area and I had another baby. My breasts grew to a 36J/K at their peak (nope, not just joking here!). A year and a half later, they've settled down to a 34i. Yes, as in "eye." I am unable to purchase brassieres at Nordstroms (they only go to an H) or Macy's (they stop at G) and have been buying them at a specialty shop in Oakland. Prima Donna is one of the only brands that fits and I have the pleasure of spending $125-150 per bra. Mmmmhmm! Quick rant: Stop telling me to buy my damn bras online, people. Do you not know that 80% of women wear the wrong size bra and that you should ideally be fitted by a professional EVERY time you bra shop because your titties change? I just read somewhere the female body changes about six time over her lifetime. Add the fun house aspect of pregnancy (three of those, in my case) and well, my tits need to be checked on every year. And once I drop $300 on two bras (the two bras I found after trying on 6-9), I'm going to wear the fuck out of them and can't afford to buy more. Of the women who buy bras online, do you buy like, 10 bras and ship 8 back? I don't understand! I personally cannot throw down $600-800 to buy bras online to get them home to try them all on and find the ones that fit properly to then return $500 worth of bras. It's crazy sauce! So I got my referral and made my appointment. Amazing how the plastic surgeon could see me within a week and the dermatologist couldn't see me for three months. I still haven't had that appointment yet! At my consultation, the doc checked out my boobies. She called the long (they are) and told me she does the anchor technique. I asked about the lollipop incision and she said some doctors are very good at it because they do it all the time but she works with the anchor. Because my breasts are so long, I'll need the bigger scars. On the plus side, because of my skin tone, I should scar up nicely. We looked at before and after pictures and her work seems just fine. I spend about 90 minutes looking at before/after pics on RealSelf and it's interesting: breasts are so different! I realize that reads obvious but when you look at tits as much as I have in the past few weeks, man, they are REALLY different! Some boobs touch and meet at the center of the chest. Mine do not. There is actually at least one centimeter difference between the two. The surgeon explained how she can't really change the shape of the breast - of course they'll be smaller but she has to work with existing tissue. She has a lot more freedom with the nipple. Oh! My nipple will mostly stay attached during the procedure to retain sensitivity. The areola will be reshaped and moved up almost six inches. The volume will decrease by at least a half, if not 2/3. I'm gonna be a C/D cup. I haven't had titties that small since I was FOURTEEN. Fourteen!!! Back to the appointment: the doc didn't see how the insurance company could deny me and she told me that with my insurance, she's never had an issue getting a reduction approved. My consultation was back in mid-January. She could have done the surgery in February but I couldn't because my partner and I are planning the school auction which takes place March 5. The physician is having a grand baby mid-March and is taking two weeks off so if I got lucky, I might be able to have it done the second week of March or I was going to have to wait until April. Guess who got lucky! Ahhhh!!!! I walked out of the office after putting $250 down for her surgery fee and have tried to obsessively not think about it. My mom is coming down the first two days post surgery and my Dad might tag team and come down after that. I've been likening the recovery to a c-section because I've had three of those and know what to expect recovery-wise from major abdominal surgery. A reduction takes a full 6-8 weeks to heal just like the way I birth babies, but apparently it's not nearly as intense because no muscle is being sliced into. I'm going to email some mums and see if they can take the baby for a few hours each day as well - even if it's just for a 30 minutes walk around the neighborhood! More will be written in the coming weeks. I have fears bubbling up regarding body issues and of course regarding surgery complications but the excitement far outweighs all that. I can't wait to go bikini shopping! And you now what else I am going to do? Run. This woman is going to run a 5K. ME. I'm going to become a runner! Not a long distance once and not like, a forever this-is-my-sport kind of runner, but I am going to run a 5K and I am so fucking excited about the possibility of being able to do this because these breasts have been holding me back but that is changing in 12 days. TWELVE mother fucking days!